But he said he's sorry!!

"But he told me he loves me! He said he was sorry and that he will never do it again!" Is that a phrase you have told yourself. And do we believe it?... Of course we do. Why? I would tell you if I knew. I am here to speak directly to the woman and teens who are reading my blog's...that picture is me in 2009, Christmas eve...but that's not how he started....he never hit me because he "loved" me. He was loving, caring, sweet, perfect?.... When he hits you the first time its an accident.....right? ...wrong. He says it is. It doesn't start off so bad does it? A punch to the leg, or to the arm, cuz he says he would never hit you in the face....but of course, you stay only to find out he lied. So why then after do we stay? The rush of feelings of emotions go racing through your body as you watch him cry and apologize...you believe it. The words I LOVE YOU are so powerful, sometimes that all we need to hear...but I am here to tell you, NO MAN that puts his hands on you loves you! But he's different you say? He's changed? No. He hasnt. Once he hits you for the first time and you stay with him, he now knows that all he has to say are those 3 magic words and you aren't going anywhere. Ladies is this what God wants for you? Every tear you shed, He is right next to you crying with you. Your pain is His pain. You don't deserve to be tossed around or beat or yelled at or cursed at, there is a man in this world who is waiting for you to LOVE you to treat you like his prize! Don't settle for what you think love is. not words but actions should be your guide. Your gold...remember that. Your beautiful. You were created slowly and perfectly. Don't let one guy take away from what God has planned for you....go stare at that picture up there ^ . That was on a good day...when he wasnt too mad...is your life worth more?....

satans mission to bring me down

I'm back after not posting for months. I have received so many emails regarding my blog "Survivor" and I want to thank everyone for their sweet words. I guess what brought me back today is that panic attacks I have been encountering. It feels like a horrible nightmare that I am not able to wake up from. So much has happend these past few months, good and sad. I Lost the only father figure I had, my grandpa. I miss him so much and things have become more difficult in my life.On the contrary the man I fell in love with, asked me to marry him! :) yay! I am extremely excited! but as much as the Lord enjoys seeing us happy, satan just wants to see us miserable. The attacks I have allow me to go back to the dark place I was a few years ago, making my mind believe I am reliving a past memory.It's so scary that I do not feel like myself. I wanted to use this blog to allow my followers to email me YOUR advice. whether you yourself have experienced this or know someone who has. The affect it has had in my head causes me to have horrible migraines in which my doctor proscribed " Propanolol" but I do not like taking this medication. The only thing I have found that has helped me is, improving my relationship with God. Staying in His word allows the fear and pain to disappear. I'm just feeling so off today. Give me your thoughts in my inbox. -Julie